This is my third year doing a vision board and every year I hang my vision board on my bedroom wall as a reminder of what I set out to accomplish. It has always been helpful to look at the images and check off what goals I have achieved and make a plan for what needs to get done.
For the past three years, I have also had reflections on what I set out to accomplish and how the year turned out. Welcome to my 2016 reflection.
(Most of this is stream of consciousness writing because I had the idea and I have to get it out. I will probably revisit to fix portions of it.)
From this year, I can say that 2016 has been about Confrontation.
Funny thing is, when I set out to write this blog today, that was not was on my mind. I was in prayer and lifting up every person who impacted me this year. ( I was on the road from Atlanta to Athens so I had some time) And the word CONFRONTATION hit my spirit. And as I continued praying, I was thanking God for that things I had to confront.
The basic definition online goes to” The clashing of forces or ideas”
This year I have felt that personally and on a larger scale in terms of society the clashing of forces and ideas have happened on numerous occasions.
Below is what I outlined my vision board to be and the key verse:
“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”
Ecclesiastes 3:11 NLT
1. Get my MPA (Fall 2016)
2. Addressing love — well originally it was to be more adventurous in my relationship but now that I’m single…. Mmm well I will work on it
3. Travel more. Want to go to Vegas, Miami and New York (never been to those places, don’t judge me)
4. Save more and get a Roth IRA
5. Build my brand outside of my job. Working on a one woman show, just submitted a manuscript for a new book and I got some ideas stirring.
Yes God makes everything beautiful in its own time and 2016 will be beautiful ❤️
The five things above I had to confront in different ways. I even had some things come up outside of these five. In general, I will say I had to confront my fears, my expectations, and my emotions.
Confronting my fears: This year I brought to stage the one woman show of the 365 project. It had been something I had been talking about for over a year and was nervous about it. What if I suck? Where is the money going to come from? Who would be my crew? But putting up the show has been one of the most rewarding experiences ever. I also had to confront self-doubt. I stepped into some new leadership positions and there were people who expected me to do some great things and I was crippled by their thoughts and expectations. To be honest with this part, I am still working through, I want to be sure I am doing my best and making people proud. That often looks like doing the most all the time. (Pray for me church)
Confronting my expectations: I just knew that by the end of the year I was going to graduate with my MPA and be engaged. HA. I really had to delve deep into what my expectations were, why did I have them and were they something God said or did I plan it out myself. I had certain expectations of what I thought love was and this year I had to go back to the drawing board. I had expectations of what relationships were and had to go back and really look at myself. There were plans I made and to be honest, I was just not in the place to achieve them. A big example of that is with this website, I wanted to keep up with content, but I had to put this on the back burner for a while. I have had to readjust and it has not always been easy.
Confronting my emotions: For the first time ever, I started going to therapy for anxiety. It was the end of may after finals that I began to have panic attacks and man, those are not good. Ever since I started going, it has been amazing. The thing about emotions is that when you do not confront them, they manifest in other places. It becomes stress, eating more, drinking more, not sleeping. And I do not know about ya’ll but after 25 you notice things happening with your body. Last year taught me that I do not want to be in the hospital for things I can proactively address.
Ultimately, in confronting these things, I had to confront myself and hold myself accountable more than ever by my actions. I had someone once tell me, “There is no gray area, it is either Yes or No.”
Essentially what he meant and continued to say was that when you make a decision, think about the consequences of each decision and be prepared that there will be some consequences that you cannot think through. And once you make your decision, be ok with it. I am been confronting ideas about faith, sex, love and people all year long and even today I know that in 2017, the confrontation won’t end.
What I do know is confrontation is not bad. It helps you to grow. And luckily I have had some pretty dope people to confront the world with. These were people who I was praying for and interceding on behalf of today and this year would not great without you all.
The Awakening Church
I am excited to begin the process of creating my 2017 vision board and look forward to confronting ideas in 2017. Happy New Year loves 🙂